I know tantrums are part of the package with toddlers. I guess there has to be something to balance the incredibly funny conversations and sweet cuddles. But tantrums are just horrible for both the child and the parent.
Charlie is fairly new to throwing a wobbler. He's hit the age where he knows what he wants but can't yet ask for it. Sure he can say a few words and point but often it's not enough. He's discovered he can get on the kitchen table without assistance and is never happy to be removed. Sometimes he just wants to be doing whatever Ava and Noah are doing even if he's too young. All of these lead to a red-faced, screaming Charlie.
Noah used to be the master of tantrums. He would throw himself on the floor and bang his head repeatedly. Luckily, he seems to have outgrown the violent tantrums and now just goes for the regular kind. Usually because I've brought his drink in the wrong beaker or I've asked him to wear something he doesn't want to wear.
Ava now tends to sulk or answer back rather than throw a tantrum but they do still occur occasionally. I'm not sure if the backchat is an improvement or not!
In order to try and bring a little peace to our house, I'm finally going to get around to reading Happiest Toddler on the Block
by Dr Harvey Karp (it's also available on DVD
) . As I've mentioned before, I was a huge fan of Happiest Baby on the Block
. I just wish I'd read it when I had Ava.I love the idea that toddlers are like 'little cavemen'. I really can't think of a better way to describe my children sometimes. Especially when they're refusing to wear clothes again.
Dr Harvey Karp recommends using 'toddlerese' to diffuse tantrums. I'm pretty certain I'm going to feel a little silly at first but if it works I'm happy to give it a go.
I'll be sure to update soon with what I think of the book and whether it's helped us at all.
Do your children have tantrums? How do you deal with them?
My Son has tantrums all the time. Most are mild and mainly due to the fact he has a speech delay (With possible Autism) and finds it hard to communicate or hes frustrated he can not do something. When this happens I will sit down with him and talk to him about what is wrong and help him. But when he has a major tantrum, I feel like running for the hills. Throwing things, head butting the wall or just lying on the floor kicking and screaming. With the major tantrums I just let him get on with it (after checking he is safe and there is no apparent reason for said tantrum) because I am not going to condone the behaviour or encourage it by him thinking he has my attention when he acts like that. Seems to have worked so far because these are becoming fewer and fewer.
ReplyDeleteThat said, usually he is a very sweet, kind, sensitive, fun and caring little boy. Compared to others I know, we have got off lightly with the tantrums. Im just hoping they do not come back 10 times worse when he hits 3!
http://xmylifeasamummyx.blogspot.co.uk/
I think so many tantrums come from a place of frustration don't they.
DeleteI'm really pleased you've found something that is working for you. It's exactly what we end up doing with Noah as any attempt to communicate during a tantrum just gets him hysterical
You are certainly not alone and I hate to say it but older kids can throw them too, tweenage tantrums are pretty hard too! My best advise is to stay calm and rationale and not raise the argument with them thereby feeding the situation. Easy to say and harder to do! Distracting tactics are good, finding a way out from the situation.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness, I hadn't even considered the fact that one day we will have three tweenagers!
DeleteDistraction tactics are a really good idea, thank you